Below each story is an opportunity for you to share what you heard.
Cooking Marshmallows It is to my best interest in my life to learn to see others differently. I love the saying, "People come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime". My Mother took one look at my ex-husband and knew I had to deal with this man again. She felt it was a repea...ting lesson, one I had not resolved for the better good. (mother was a reknown medium in her day) She told me it helped her from interfering many times with him, and it made me look at it, as something to learn from, or as she said, I would need to bring him with me into my next lifetime. What I did notice as I look back at my life, he came in many different forms. I had thought, by getting him out of my face, I would not have to deal with him any longer. When I looked at the men in my life, at that time, they all could be brothers in how they treated women. I was a person who loved helpiing others. I thought, if I could show these men how to live, they could be happy. And of course, they had the same idea. In 1990, I decided it was I, which needed to change my perspectives. Twenty-five years I hung on to the old ways and I had to face it, it was not working. I know I needed to change. I was getting angry at life, I was becoming them. My inner self was fighting with myself. I had read over and over again, in changing yourself, you change others around you. At that time, that did not make a bit of sence. But what about the person I was running away from, if Mother was right, I still had to deal with that situation. I reminded myself that I was a forgiving person. I would forgive this person. This person could be in my life for a season, a reason, or lifetimes. I focused on a season and a reason. At the same time, I was not going to put myself in the same room with him. If I could forgive him and while I was doing that, I would forgive myself too. I had not made a bad decision, I was needing that person in my life to learn to forgive. How did I do this forgiving from afar? I learned to sit in peace and think of their name. When I felt the pressure at the tp of my chest, I would pull peace in to sit with us. Sometimems I would only feel the peace of three seconds. In time the three seconds of peace would become 3 minutes. It is like the marshmallow on a stick, when I was camping. I remember the first time I stuck the marshmallow into the flames and it caught fire. As I leaned to have patience with it and the flame, I became in control. My feelings are like the marshmallow. Soon I was able to think of this person and not have the flames flare up and blister my chest. As the day wore on, every time I felt my chest flare up thinking about him, I told myself I was not going to feed his power. I could reflect on happier times. Continual use of this tool, allows for it to become stronger and faster. I figured, it changed me, I just might not attract someone I did not need to fix. Wow, this process was much faster. The shift in my thinking brought immediate change. At end of 1990, I met my now wonderful husband. It worked!!!
Self Boundaries Boundaries are a very useful tool. We tend to forget how important they can be. I use to believe I was not a kind person if I had boundaries. I worried others world not like or except me. I would always say “Yes” when I was asked of. It wasn’t until Ophra spoke about it... that the idea to receive respect from others, I had to respect myself first. I was not respecting myself by agreeing to situations that caused me discomfort. Not only did it feel un-comfortable, it would cause me to hide behind sicknesses. Sickness got comfortable to the point they were an easy excuse. It was easier to tell someone I didn’t feel good to get out of saying, “No”. I found myself sick in bed more and more. I now know, that for me, I allowed my mind to go there first. Challenges: right now you may receive challenges that are uncomfortable. These challenges are not normal for you, making them seem difficult. There will always be challenges showing up for you. As you continue to step up to them and handle without fear, they will start getting easier. Will they quit someday, probably not, at the same time, they will get easier to handle, they will get so easy to handle that you will not think of them as a difficult situation. You will get to a point that you do not ever see some of them. They will dissolve from you hard to do list. Remember when you were going to start driving a car? And the responsibility that came with it? All the choices you were going to have to decide as you drove. How were you ever going to remember all the controls? As you used your driving abilities, they started to get easier. Now your first thoughts as you buckle up, are not of fear or worrying about the steps. It is the same with challenging your boundaries. They will be clear to your intuition. You will not even waste your time with the “what if’s”. Your boundaries will be respected, and the universe will start respecting them too. Your focus will be else where. What you focus on will show up instead. You will start recognizing your directions sooner. Your intensions will be so sharp that you will be able to decide faster when opportunities knock. You will think that life has become easier, instead it is your respect that stands up for you. Others now know what to ask of you. If you are in the process of cleaning up your boundaries, do not get one bit discouraged by what shows up. Get excited that you are seeing it, that you have these opportunities to get another un-desiring situation out of your way. Pat yourself on the back for noticing. Usually they were always coming at you, but you thought they were normal. When you get use to saying, “no”, even that starts to get so normal that you do not even fret about it. Instead of fretting, you are telling yourself now proud you are of cleaning another corner of your life out. You will start to see life clearer. Life starts to see your goals, and directions to help you. Get a clear picture of what is important in your life. Make sure you are top priority. Isn’t that what you want the universe to see? I know I wouldn’t even think to ask a friend to do something that they have already said not to. I would look for someone who enjoys doing it, and ask them. Let’s say I needed to find a leader for a group of children. I had three friends come to mind. The first one had turned me down before, by saying that kids were difficult for her. She respected herself when sharing that information. I now respect her by not asking. The second person usually says yes to me for any reason. Then I remembered that she comes up with wonderful excuses or calls at the last minute, telling me why she can’t do it. The third gets all excited when I call her. She starts telling me how this is such a grand idea and it will help her with another project. It is right within her goals of life. If I was a person who respected myself, I would go straight to the person I would be helping to reach her goals. She has clarified herself. I know she would never call up with an excuse for not fulfilling the agreement. I have a win, win situation. Another reason for setting your boundaries, it can allow people to only come to you when they know it is something you love doing. You will find others not bring everything to you, giving you more time to achieve toward your main goals. You will not have to say no. Better opportunities start arriving at a speed that you now will have to define tighter.
